What Really Matters with Parenting

When I was pregnant with my first son, I was obsessed with birth and delivery. What was it going to be like? Was I going to live? How might it affect my child? What about the drugs - they might affect him, right? I watched A Birth Story on Discovery - I recorded them and watched all of the ones I recorded. My conclusion: labor and delivery is scary and your birth plan is more like a birth wish. If it works out, great, but don't expect it. So it was with my first. I wanted it to be drug free, but it wasn't. When I was pregnant with my second, a mom recommended that I watch "The Business of Being Born". I tried to watch it, but I couldn't - it was so biased and loaded that I couldn't stomach the message, even if they had a point. Besides, I heard plenty of women summarize it for me. Now that I'm not a rookie any more, I've learned that the birth process, while fundamental, isn't the most important thing (or at least what is the most important thing, I think). The most important thing is how you relate to your child when you are stressed or when there is a crucial lesson to be learned (lessons that usually involve the child(ren) not dying). And that is the challenge. How do you handle kids when you are pressed for time, when they have no concept of time, and you are trying to get something done? Or more importantly, how about when they are crying and crying and are inconsolable because you stopped them from killing themselves? How can you have a sense of humor when you are pressed for time to get them in the car to go to your mani/pedi appointment and you still have to drop them off first (I'm kidding, kind of). That is the art.